The Octopus's Garden
by Locke2
Summary: It's about Char and Ella's son and an Ayorthaian girl. Being digitally remastered right now. So sorry for taking so long to update but the last chapter is in the works as we speak!
1. Chapter 1

AN: Lets all give a big warm thank you to "Saying Hello" for prof-reading my story! No I'm not dead, just a horrible and lazy person. I am so sorry for neglecting this story so heinously but I'm working on it now. The last chapter is in the works and I'm (read Saying Hello is) re-editting everything I've written so far. Sorry again for being so lazy!  
  
And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.  
  
- The Beatles, The End  
  
Chapter 1- That damn dog  
  
The dog was halfway across the field before I realized what was happening, and by then it was to late but my hands clenched around the folds of my skirt and I tore after it just the same. By the time I made it to the bank of the river he was almost across. I sighed, I had told Mathew he would just get away from me but he had begged and pleaded that he couldn't walk him while he was gone and the dog needed to be walked. I had resisted at first but Mathew knew just how to push my buttons to get anything he wanted from me, years of being my best friend were finally paying off for him. Mathew was out on a short trip with his father and I had gotten stuck with the chore of walking the stupid dog, I was glad they were coming back tomorrow. I glared at my opponent, sitting smugly on the far bank, his tail wagging, mouth open and slobber dripping form his teeth. I hated that dog more then anything, not only would it get me in trouble with father because of the dress I had ruined chasing it but Mathew would be inconsolable for days.  
  
I rubbed my noes and bit my lip to keep from crying. It was getting dark out and I had strayed to far out of the comforting arms of the castle and to near Ogre camp for comfort during the day much less the twilight that was rapidly becoming a reality. I remembered that when he had wanted the dog to come to him, Mathew snapped his fingers and half-sung 'here Char,' his true name was Charmont but we had shortened it, god only knows why but he thought that the filthy, smelly dog that I was faced with bore resemblance to the Kerryain king. "Here Char." I sung, I couldn't snap but I thought I deserved points for effort.  
  
The dog cocked his head to the side and looked confused. I tried it again and this time he got up and trotted back into the water. The very first thing he did once out of the water was shake himself drenching the front of my gown. I glared at him again, "Are you finished?" I asked as if he could understand me.  
  
He panted back at me the totally innocent expression made him look almost cute. I picked up the sopping end of the lead and grimaced, it had been dragged through mud and god only knew what else. I stooped down and tried my best to clean it off in the river. With an inordinate amount of effort I managed to drag the dog back into the castle's arms to Mathew's house and deposit him back in the kennels.  
  
Mathew and I lived in the shadow of the castle and certainly far into it's court's. Both our fathers were deeply involved and well-respected members of the King's counsel, which was how we had first met. I couldn't wait for him to get home, partly because I didn't want to walk the dumb dog again but mostly because I missed him. It was hard to find quality companionship among nobles, even noble children but Mathew and I had got along great from the beginning, we fought sure but even the best of friends do. Everyone else in Ayortha is quiet and polite but not Mathew and I, we're talkative by nature. We don't say much to anyone else, so as not appear rude but when we're together we rarely shut up.  
  
Feeding the beast proved a lot easier then getting him into his kennel, it ate faster then anything or anyone I had ever seen. I was exhausted by the time I got home and I was asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.  
  
It wasn't that I didn't like Ethan DeLac, it was that I hated him. His hateful outlook on everything wasn't the worst of his traits but was defiantly the most prominent. The worst part about him at least in my mind was the way he looked at me, like I was something on display in a market, it never failed to make a cold shiver run up my spine.  
  
Outwardly he was handsome enough, jet-black hair, matching eyes and a stern mouth whose corners always seemed turned down. The sharp angles of his face gave him a commanding air, in truth he scared me a little.  
  
"That guy gives me the creeps." Mathew whispered in my ear.  
  
"Me too." I agreed, I didn't ask whom he meant.  
  
"Dance with me lady," Mathew changed the subject, grinning and holding out a hand for me to take.  
  
"You know perfectly well I dance about as well as I can play the harp." I glared at him.  
  
"I think you're an excellent harpist." He smiled. "Now come on and dance." He commanded."  
  
"I've never taken a harp lesson in my life you goof." I giggled but I stood up and took his hand anyway.  
  
When I tripped over the edge of my skirt on the way to the dance floor Mathew and I decided it would be better if we got some food instead.  
  
We found a nice table where we could watch the more graceful people whirl by in perfect timing with the music.  
  
"I wish I could do that." I admitted wistfully.  
  
"It's not actually as fun as it looks." Mathew assured me ripping off half of the untouched piece of bread on my plate and stuffing it in his mouth. "Besides find it rather amusing."  
  
"Yeah, well you named your dog after a king so your sanity is as questionable as my balance." I reminded him taking the other half of my bread and chewing it rather more slowly then my friend.  
  
He shrugged. "Well you'll get to meet the real King Charmont soon enough, he's coming to the feast to welcome his son to Ayortha, then you'll see what I mean."  
  
The feast was scheduled the day after tomorrow night even though Prince Alexander was due to arrive tomorrow, tonight most of the court was busy getting ready for him.  
  
Mathew, whose mother was friends with Queen Eleanor, visited Frell almost every year. Mathew liked the rulers of Frell, he had once told me that he thought he might move to Frell when he was older right after he and his mother had visited the king. I though it was one of the best compliments anyone could give anyone else.  
  
"You sound more exited about that then even the most flirty, shallow court slut." I told him, even though neither of us really knew what a slut was, just that it was derogatory and that it wasn't to be used in front of our parents.  
  
"You would be to if you had met them, they really are amazingly nice Lorelei." He told me. "I think they'd like you." He added almost as and after thought but for me it was the most important part.  
  
Mathew probably didn't realize that he had just complimented me but I caught it. He was the only person I knew who could make you feel really good about yourself just with a simple remark he didn't even really think about saying. It was one of the reasons that people instantly liked Mathew and I envied him for his ability to make friends so quickly, a skill I picked up with less ease.  
  
I looked up from my plate to find him flicking peas into the fire that was a little way from our table, I laughed. "Come on you goof if we go to bed now we can get up early and go swimming before my father gets it into his mind to catch me to fit me for a new dress for the ball."  
  
Mathew grabbed a two pieces of bread for the road, handed me one and we headed out. I munched on the bread thoughtfully as we walked.  
  
"So your birthday's coming up soon what do you want?" He asked suddenly.  
  
"Why do you ask me that?" I asked. "You do it every year, I say jewelry and you come up with something inventive and clever and something I like ten times more."  
  
"Perhaps this year I will get you jewelry." He said mysteriously.  
  
We had arrived at my door and I gave him the rest of my bread, he had finished his and he still had a little way's walk to get to his door. I changed out of my gown and climbed into my bed but sleep was slow in coming that night.  
  
Despite the fact that lurking had gone out of style months before I was doing just that. Mathew and I had come back from our swimming excursion hours ago but I still didn't want to be snagged for any chores so I was sitting in the shade of a very inconspicuous tree hoping that my father wouldn't think to look for me.  
  
I was hungry but if I risked a trip to the kitchen father would certainly find me and drag me off to do something I didn't want to. I noticed that the tree across from the one I was sitting under was a peach tree and a single peach was still dangling from its branches.  
  
It was a tricky business getting up into the tree with a skirt on but I finally managed it and plucked a ripe peach from a near branch. It was so sweet and ripe that when I bit it the juice got all over my chin. It was probably the last peach of the season, it was after all well into September already and beginning to cool off.  
  
I was happy for the change, I wouldn't miss the sticky sweat that accompanies summer nights or the mosquitoes that filled the air at dusk.  
  
"Lorelei get down from that tree this instant!" The harsh voice of the cook de-railed my train of through.  
  
I flinched and looked down to find the enraged woman standing at the base of my tree hands on hips, an annoyed expression on her sever face. She was tall and unnaturally thin, her cold eyes always seemed to smirk a look enhanced by the frown lines around her mouth and sharp chin.  
  
I scrambled down the tree so quickly I almost ripped my dress. She hurried me off towards the house muttering something I could hear but I had no doubt it was an unpleasant prediction of what I would amount to.  
  
If the cook was unhappy my father was livid. "You do realize that the dress makers will be up all night sewing your dress and it will cost twice as much." He raged.  
  
"I'm sorry." I mumbled, I had learned the hard way that lying in these situations was for the best all around.  
  
A brief tirade followed where he summoned up every bad thing I had ever done to make the case that I would amount to nothing and that I was a disgrace to the family name. He then escorted me to the dressmakers where I was poked and prodded by pins and other miscellaneous sewing equipment for the next hour and a half. After which I was banished to my room without supper.  
  
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	2. Chapter 2

Well, I know that you're in love with him  
  
'Cause I saw you dancin' in the gym  
  
You both kicked off your shoes  
  
Man, I dig those rhythm and blues  
  
- Don McLean (American Pie)  
  
Chapter 2- Meeting the enemy  
  
I was woken from my peaceful daze by the loud chimes of the clock that stood in the courtyard of the castle. I groaned and rolled over and it was at that point that I ran out of bed and crashed to the all-together solid wood floor. I stood up rubbing the sleep from my bleary eyes and trying to untangle myself from the intricate web of sheets.  
  
"Sleeping beauty awakes." Harmony's sarcastic voice mocked me as she pushed open the door to make sure I hadn't broken anything. "It's good to see you're your graceful self this morning." I didn't answer her, just returned to trying to kick off the sheets constricting my legs. "Father is making me get you ready for the ball. We start preparations at four and I expect you here and ready with your gown exactically then, you won't be happy if I have to come look for you." She gave me a much practiced and practically perfect evil eye.  
  
Harmony, my sister, at eighteen was about a year older then me, tall, thin with a to large head that seemed to be cradled by her shoulders like an egg in a cup and small, squinty eyes. Her front teeth were square but so large she could never seem to fully get her lips around them and her brown hair was limp as an over cooked noodle. But she was smart, graceful and (in private) as vicious and jealous as anyone I ever met. If it had been anyone else I would have made them come and look for me, but not Harmony. After the incident when I was seven and refused to give her the bigger piece of cake so she me so hard with a pan I blacked out, I had decided she could pretty much have whatever she wanted.  
  
"The ball starts at seven, what could possibly take that long?" I asked indignantly.  
  
She turned to leave, ignoring my question. I chose the first gown my hands came in contact with when I threw open the closet, it was a vibrant yellow which according to Harmony brought out the bags under my eyes. I put it on anyway.  
  
"I told you never to wear that gown again." Harmony greeted me as I came down the stairs.  
  
"Good morning." I mumbled and even though it was far past the time for lunch, took my place at the table.  
  
"Sit up strait." She said dealing me a vicious blow to the back.  
  
I straitened my back.  
  
I spent my free time till four trying to teach myself to cartwheel, not a lady like accomplishment but one I wanted anyway.  
  
"What could we possibly do that could take three hours?" I asked again as I met her at four.  
  
"You'll see." She said in a very condescending air.  
  
And unfortunately, I did see. For the next three hours Harmony treated me with an expensive and seemingly endless stream of creams, oils, rubs and everything else she could think of. She didn't seem to be happy to have to get ready for two and she was more then a little rough, succeeding in bringing stinging tears to my eyes more then once.  
  
"Stop complaining you little brat." She had hissed in my ear more then once when I cried out when she jerked my hair particularly roughly.  
  
But finally my ordeal ended and I was rewarded with a condescending: "you look ok," from my sister. I was about an inch shorter then her but my slender body curved in all the best places giving an allusion of height, my silky, slightly curly cinnamon hair was piled half on half off my head woven artistically into a silver clasp. She had put some black stuff on my lashes making them appear long and my Carmel eyes appear large and round. Harmony might be violent to me at times but she really knew how to make someone look good.  
  
"You look nice." I told her.  
  
It wasn't exactically a lie, her own hair had been set in curls and her taffeta dress brought out a figure that she didn't really have and made her hair appear less stringy, or maybe that was the curls. "Thank you." She said curtly. "I don't want you tagging along with me an my friends the whole night, go find your little boyfriend and leave us alone." She instructed me.  
  
"Mathew and I are just friends." I said not bothering to dignify her indication that I cared for her friends with an answer.  
  
I felt sorry for the prince who would could look forward to an endless cycle of these formal events the whole year, in a place where he knew precious few people and (I assumed) little about the culture. We didn't usually have balls but we were calling this sing one in, what I regarded as most likely fruitless, attempt to make the prince feel more at home.  
  
Mathew was talking with Peter, a mutual acquaintance of ours though not what either of us would call a close friend, he was more like an ally, when I arrived but he broke off the conversation and ran to greet me. "Who is this lovely vision I see before me." He asked his voice riddled with mirth.  
  
"This is your best friend with about three hours of painful beautification and a little over fifteen gallons of hair products." I laughed.  
  
"You look lovely darling." He laughed with me, linking his arm into mine.  
  
"And you look stunning tonight oh best friend of mine." I giggled with him, a giggle that died in my throat when I realized that we weren't just aimlessly wandering anymore, Mathew had a definite purpose. "Mathew, where are we going." I asked locking my legs and pulling him to a stop.  
  
"I want to introduce you to someone." He had skillfully designed that answer to shut me up but provide the least amount of information possible.  
  
We were walking again but toward the door and not the door that everyone was coming in and out of. Inside the room was a small table around which sat three people but I only recognized one.  
  
"Mathew, Lorelei." Areida greeted us both with our names and a motherly kiss on the forehead. "Ella, Char you both know my son Mathew but this is Lorelei, she makes me wonder at times if I had twins and no one bothered to tell me about it." She punctuated her sentence with a tinkling laugh. "God knows I love her enough."  
  
My mother had died on the childbed with me and Areida having no girls of her own she and I had formed a strong mother-daughter bond, which had started when I was thirteen and woke with blood between my legs. I had cried and run to Areida, knowing somehow that this was something Mathew couldn't fix, who had comforted me and explained what was happening.  
  
"And Lorelei this is Ella and Char." She said pointing them out in turn. "Alex is at the moment being sacrificed to the court on the altar of manners."  
  
"I've heard great things about you." I assured them with a polite smile.  
  
"Oh please don't be polite, we're going to have to put up with enough of that tonight." Ella begged me.  
  
I smiled even wider, the gloves had come out but the hands beneath were softer and prettier.  
  
I was spared from answering by Mathew who started a conversation about the increased ogre activity in the area. It was a topic I didn't have very strong opinions on so I took the time to study the royal couple.  
  
The king was regal but the tenderness with which he treated his wife deemed him an all around good guy. I also liked his laugh, it started deep in his throat and rumbled out slowly, it was a kind and honest laugh. It was mostly Ella who coaxed it from him but I managed it a time or two. Ella was funny, she always had something to say which would lighten the mood and put things back in perspective a useful skill for the bride of a king, I would imagine.  
  
We talked for only a short while before, with a regretful sigh Char announced that we should probably go to aid of his son, but in that short while I had come to like them immensely. They were condemned to the table with the rest of the  
  
"I liked them." I told Mathew as we re-entered the ball.  
  
"I knew you would." He replied guiding me towards the refreshments.  
  
I was hungry after the slightly traumatizing experience of being confined in a small space with my sister the whole afternoon so I filled my plate with food and followed Mathew to a table in the back.  
  
I sat back in my chair content just to listen to the music playing.  
  
(AN: More reviews = more story!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And you are encouraged to e-mail (shadow_of_the_hedgemon@hotmail.com) if you have questions, comments, suggestions ect.) 


	3. Chapter 3

AN: Sorry 'bout the delay in updates, this chapter had been giving me difficulty  
  
There's nothing you can make that can't be made.  
  
No one you can save that can't be saved.  
  
Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be in time  
  
It's easy. All you need is love, all you need is love,  
  
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.  
  
The beatles, (All you need is love)  
  
Chapter 3- You, me and the prince makes three  
  
"Check." Mathew announced and then taking another look at the board added. "Mate."  
  
It was probably the last day that would be warm enough to venture out without four or five pounds of winter clothes, fall in Ayortha seemed about half an hour long, so we had decided to play our game of chess our in the orchard. "That's what you think." I said moving my bishop to take his knight.  
  
"Mathew!" A voice called from across down the row of apple trees, still mostly green but with oranges and reds just beginning to creep into the edges.  
  
"Alex!" Mathew jumped to his feet, nearly overturning the chessboard.  
  
They greeted each other like good friends but I had never met this man before. And then I remembered what Mathew had shouted, of course this was the prince. "Alex this is my best friend Lorelei, Lorelei this is Alex." He introduced me.  
  
The prince didn't look like either of his parents at first glance, his naturally spiky and black hair and his bright green eyes were different but his high cheekbones were also apparent in his mother and the noes and broad shoulders were certainly his father's. He was extraordinarily handsome, a sure guarantee to break a few court girl's hearts no matter what he did. I was attracted to him but not delusional enough to mistake the pleasant churning of my stomach as "love at first sight" a sentiment I didn't believe in, it was more likely, I reasoned, lust.  
  
I flashed him a grin, which he returned. "So what do you think of Ayortha?" Mathew interrupted before I had time to think of anything to say to this beautiful stranger.  
  
"It's nice, if a little quiet." He laughed.  
  
"Get used to it, for the next year the only people who will say more then three words a month to you for the next year are me and Lei." Mathew laughed.  
  
My head shot up, he never called me Lei in front of anyone. I looked at him but he didn't wear the regretful look of someone who has just spilled a good secret. And then I got it, he was telling me that Alex, even though he had just joined our happy little party, that he would get every benefit and be treated as a senior member.  
  
The next week brought snow and an avalanche of other less expected if not less welcomed things. A slue of sings, all of which Harmony had to prepare me for, time she spent reviewing every little gesture the prince made in her vicinity that could possibly be skewed, contorted and twisted in him trying to catch her attention.  
  
It was a cruel twist of fate that Harmony was so infatuated with his status, it reduced the slim chance I had at him to zero. As the week progressed I liked him more and more but even if he had harbored romantic notions towards me Harmony would make sure I crushed them. I consoled myself with the promise of friendship but the promise of seeing him with someone else for the rest of my life was far from enough to keep me content.  
  
Alex fit perfectly into our pattern, filling cracks in the surface of our friendship we didn't even know existed. There was no conflict of who liked whom better or any nonsense that usually happens when you get three friends together.  
  
Monday night was the first time we didn't have a sing in a week, coincidentally it was also the night of the first frost. As tradition dictated Mathew and I assembled all the ingredients for ice cream in my kitchen and were about halfway through the process when Alex showed up, he had been delayed because of some sundry court duties. "What are you making?" He asked.  
  
"Ice cream, we always make it the night of the first frost." Mathew explained handing the crank over to me.  
  
"What's ice cream?" He asked.  
  
Mathew and I looked at each other and laughed. "You'll see." I explained. "Here you spin for a while."  
  
I fixed his hands around the crank, ignoring the shiver that never failed to shoot up my spine when we touched. "Now just spin." I instructed him.  
  
I hopped up on a nearby counter and tucked my legs under the tent like skirt I had been forced to wear, rubbed my tiny noes and thought back on the conversation Areida and I had earlier that day.  
  
She had started off by telling me she had already put this off for far to long. "But it appears it is my pleasure to explain something to you." She said, taking my hands in a silent order to look at her, I obliged. "We live in a society which is ruled by men but carried by women, and I don't want you to forget that ok?"  
  
It didn't make sense, if the society was carried by women why didn't we rule it too? I had asked just that too. Areida had laughed and laughed after that. "Dear child, why would we want to? As long as we have good men in power, like Char or Alex we don't have any battles to fight and why fight needless battles? But dear I don't just mean on the national level, think about it on the personal level. I don't want any man ever telling you that he's better then you because of his sex but it will doubtlessly happen and when it does I want you to hold your head high and know that the man who told you that is trash." She said kissing me on the cheek. "Now run along and play dear."  
  
It occurred to me many years later that Areida had shared a vital piece of information with me, a piece of information that had been passed down from mother to daughter sense the dawn of time, and I was glad that it was Areida who had told me.  
  
Finally the ice cream was done and we sat around the fire eating the fruit of our labors, making popcorn strings and pulling taffy. "So Lei, shall we teach Alex how to ice skate tomorrow?" Mathew suggested stuffing a long string of taffy into his mouth.  
  
"Sure." I agreed.  
  
"It looks hard, is it hard?" Alex asked.  
  
"Well if the ice doesn't br.." Mathew started.  
  
"You'll be fine." I glared at Mathew.  
  
(AN: If you want more take my advice and review!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) 


	4. Chapter 4

Would believe in my love at first sight?  
  
Yes I'm certain that it happens all the time,  
  
What do you see when you turn out the light?  
  
I can't tell you but I know it's mine.  
  
Do you need anybody?  
  
I need somebody to love,  
  
Could it be anybody?  
  
I want somebody to love.  
  
- A little help from my friends (The Beatles)  
  
Chapter 4- Two is a company threes.just prefect  
  
"Come on just grab my hands and concentrate on staying upright." Mathew instructed Alex. "And try not to do anything that Lei is."  
  
"That was uncalled for." I whipped my head around to find them both chuckling at my expense. "Just because I'm not the most graceful of people doesn't." I was cut of by my feet picking the very worst moment to slide out from under me.  
  
"Up on your feet Lei." Mathew said skating elegantly over to me and offering me both his hands.  
  
I took them and allowed him to skate backwards to pull me up just in time to see Alex taking slow, wobbly steps toward us. "Good job!" Mathew cheered as he jerked to a stop and almost over balanced, only his natural grace saving him for a spill onto the ice.  
  
I grinned. "What is it with you and making me feel stupid." I joked.  
  
"Oh come on Lei, you know we love you." Mathew hugged me as we watched Alex's steps become more and more confident.  
  
Under an hour later Alex was comfortable enough on the ice to attempt skating backwards, a trick he picked up quickly. "Come on, get on one side of Lei and then just skate with her." Mathew instructed him looping his own arm in mine.  
  
Sandwiched between them I was warm, but better then that I was graceful, I had never been before but with their grace combating my clumsy feet I was flying across the ice. An elated shriek ripped my throat, spurring them to go faster and faster until Alex made the heinous mistake of not skating around a rough ice and we all toppled forward onto the hard ice.  
  
I was laughing so hard I could barely breathe but they couldn't seem to figure out what had just happened. "You're supposed to skate around the rough patches genius." Mathew laughed good-naturedly.  
  
I giggled and accepted Mathew's hands and let him pull me to my feet. I rubbed my half frozen, red noes with a mittened hand and watched as Mathew made Alex skate around until he felt comfortable on his skates again. I tried a few of my own wobbly steps, I could stay up most of the time but I wasn't comfortable in my body like my two friends. "Come on I'll skate with you." Alex offered skating in front of me, holding out his hands for me to take.  
  
He skated slowly backwards but instead of pulling me he counted telling me when to take my long, sort of graceful steps. I wasn't graceful by a long shot but I was upright and for the first time gravity seemed like an ally. "That's good." Alex praised.  
  
I didn't quiet know why but my palms were sweating, luckily though I doubt he noticed through our thick gloves. His hands were warm, that must be it, I instructed myself.  
  
"Way to go Lei!" Mathew encouraged, skating next to us.  
  
I grinned widely, I was learning to ice skate.  
  
The next Thursday was my birthday. The king was holding a session of court, which my father apparently couldn't miss so Areida, Mathew and Alex took it upon themselves to throw me a party. Areida baked me a wonderfully scrumptious cake, Alex and Mathew decorated, a task, which consisted of them making a huge banner but still took them the better part of a day. Later they revealed that instead of painting the cloth like anyone else would have they opted to cut letters out of red cloth and sow them on. About half way through they got tired of that and finished the rest with paint but it looked fine to me. When finished it read: Happy 17th Birthday Lorelei!  
  
Mathew's gift to me was, as he promised jewelry, a ring in fact but the setting changed colors when you pressed it between your palms much to both our delights. Areida's gift, though I insisted her cake was enough was a wonderful watercolor painting of a bridge, the colors were soothing and perfect for relieving stress and Alex's was a new pair of ice skates. Areida didn't get it but the rest of found it amusing.  
  
"Thank you guys." I exclaimed pulling them into a group hug.  
  
"Well come on lets have cake!" Areida said kissing my forehead.  
  
Areida had outdone herself on the cake, it towered four layers above the table surface and was ornately decorated with a rich white frosting. Once we had all eaten as much and more then we wanted we tottered into the living room and collapsed onto the futons she had laid for us. Partly because I was the birthday girl and partly just because I was a girl in general (we were after all getting older) I got to sleep on the couch.  
  
"Thanks for the wonderful birthday guys." I mumbled just before sleep claimed me.  
  
(Did you guys hate the last chapter cause I didn't get many reviews, please review or I'll be sad and thanks to all you who did) 


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5- Nothing to fun OK?  
  
Hey Jude, don't make it bad,  
  
Take a sad song, and make it better,  
  
Remember to let her into her into your heart,  
  
Then you can start,  
  
To make it better.  
  
Hey Jude, don't be afraid,  
  
You were made to go out and get her,  
  
The minute you let her under your skin,  
  
Then you begin to make it better.  
  
Remember to let her into your heart,  
  
Then you can start,  
  
To make it better.  
  
--Hey Jude (The Beatles)  
  
"Mathew have you ever been in love?" I asked plucking an out of line straw from the bed of hay beneath me.  
  
"Actually yes." He sighed.  
  
Alex had been roped into some diplomatic duties so we were back to a duo, a duo presently inhabiting the roof of the kitchen. It was cold but the heat from the stoves beneath us seeped up even through the thick thatch and kept us warm. I flipped over onto my side to get a better view of him. "This I've never heard this, you must enlighten me, who was she?" I begged.  
  
"Her name is Allison Le Belle and if you want to know, yes, I am still in love with her." He sighed wistfully.  
  
"Well who is she?" I asked, I didn't know her and I was entranced by this part of my best friend I had never been privileged to see.  
  
"She used to live in our court but her family moved when we were seven, it was before you and I met." He explained.  
  
"Does she still love you?" I asked quietly.  
  
"I haven't the foggiest idea, she's never written and I don't have her address so I doubt I'll ever see her again." He clasped his gloved hands behind his head and surveyed the landscape before us.  
  
"What's it like to be in love?" I asked following suit.  
  
"It's nice actually, I suppose it's different for everyone but for me it was nice.kind of like floating actually." He said finally.  
  
I nodded even though I didn't really understand what he was talking about.  
  
I wanted to meet Allison, she must have been wonderful if she could keep Mathew's attentions ten years after she had left. I wondered if she ever thought about him, I hoped she did, Mathew was my best friend and I did feel some need to protect his feelings.  
  
I was going to ask if she ever made his palms sweat when Mathew raised his head slightly and called out to someone across the roof. "Ah the hero returns from battle."  
  
"And what a bloody battle it was." Alex groaned flopping down next to me. "At one point I had to beat one courtier to death with his own legs."  
  
We were silent for a moment. "What would you like to do tomorrow Alex while Lei is tortured?" Mathew asked suddenly.  
  
I pouted. "Don't do anything to fun ok?" I begged.  
  
"Of course not milady, we wouldn't dream of having any fun without you." Alex said in his most charming voice sitting up and taking my hand to kiss it gallantly.  
  
"I'm serious," I said jerking my hand away from him partly because I didn't like him making fun of me but more because my palms were already sweaty enough. "It's not fair for you guys to have fun while I suffer."  
  
"And just why will you be suffering tomorrow?" Alex asked.  
  
Mathew started laughing so hard it looked like he was going to slide off the roof, I wished he would. "Did you forget that tomorrow night is the Christmas Sing or are you just daft?" I snapped.  
  
"No, I remembered but what does that have to do with anything?" He asked running a hand through his beautiful hair.  
  
I rubbed my temples. "You tell him Mathew, I don't want to talk about it." I groaned.  
  
"She has to spend most of the day with her sister getting ready and all, doing that girl thing." He shuddered. I scathed him with my best glare. "But really her sister knows what she's doing and however much Lei complains she always looks really great." He amended quickly.  
  
A pink blush spread to my cheeks, which I hid by cupping my hands over my mouth and noes as if to create a pocket of warm air. "Lei always looks great." Alex said with a strange, half-smile at me.  
  
My blush deepened to a dark red. What was that supposed to mean? I forced the blush away and the curiosity, it didn't mean anything, he was just trying to make me feel better about spending the whole day with Harmony.  
  
"Thanks." I said meekly.  
  
"But why would you be sad about spending the day with Harmony? I met her and she seemed very nice." Alex sounded puzzled.  
  
"Of course she's nice." I amended quickly before Mathew could get the truth out. "I'm just upset about spending the whole day doing girl stuff." I gave him a silly grin and Mathew a just-shut-your-mouth-and-smile look.  
  
Mathew quickly closed his mouth and nodded dumbly but when the sky began to darken he offered to walk me home. "Why did you lie to Alex back there?" He asked once we were out of his hearing.  
  
"Huh?" I had forgotten all about that.  
  
"You told him Harmony was nice, why?" He pressed.  
  
"Oh that." I tried to laugh it off. "Don't worry about that, it's nothing."  
  
"What was it?" He asked again.  
  
"It's nothing, drop it Mathew." I said, a little more forcefully this time.  
  
This time he grabbed my elbow and pulled me around to face him. "Tell me and I will." He said firmly looking right at me.  
  
I nervously ran long fingers through my straw filled hair, the intensity of his gaze was scary. "It's nothing." I said weakly.  
  
"Don't lie to me Lei." He half shouted.  
  
"Stop pushing me." I really shouted yanking my arm from his grasp. "Why do you want to know? And why should I tell you? Why do you care?"  
  
There was a moments silence as he tried to remember if I had ever spoken to him in that tone and I tried to remember if I had ever spoken to anyone in that tone. He had been stunned by my assault so I was first to come back to the real world. "That's what I thought." I sneered and spun on my heel.  
  
I don't think either of us got much sleep that night. I know I didn't. I knew Mathew had just been trying to look out for me, and I had thrown it back in his face but what was I supposed to tell him? The truth would never do and he wouldn't believe any of my lies, they were never very good anyway.  
  
  
  
Harmony didn't know Alex and I were friends, I had kept that from her very carefully. It was easy enough, at sings he sat with everyone so as not to make anyone feel slighted and other then that our social calendars rarely crossed. But now I was beginning to wish she did, at least then she wouldn't keep telling me about him. I didn't want a play by play recount of everything he ever said to her.  
  
"Fetch the dresses Lorelei." She said as she pulled the last bit of hair through and finished the intricate weave of braids she had some how talked my hair into.  
  
I took the dresses carefully from where they hung in the closet and laid them on the bed. The dressmakers had sent them in a protective wrap that couldn't be resealed so neither of us knew what they looked like as I carefully laid them on the bed and broke the seal.  
  
Mine was a light, shimmery blue that somehow put me in mind of pixie dust and in keeping with the latest fashions had only a small train, a square neck and long sleeves. Harmony's was much the same as mine (no one was very imaginative in how they dressed) but her's was silver. The minute she saw them her face got really red and she began to emit this sort of weird energy that made my palms sweat, though in an entirely different way then Alex.  
  
"What?" I asked, fighting the urge to throw down both dresses and run.  
  
"He gave you the blue dress." She said quietly.  
  
And then before I knew what had just happened she had rammed the metal brush into my belly. I toppled to the bed and she went with me. She was so close I could smell her, she smelled like the expensive perfume she had lavished on both of us but beneath that there was a slightly metallic sent. But then her face relaxed and I was sure I had just imagined the sent.  
  
"He gave you the blue dress." She repeated but she was calm again.  
  
"What does that mean?" I asked still a little confused clutching a palm to my bruised belly as she stood up.  
  
"It means that father wants you to marry Alexander, even though I am older." She said matter-o-factly, I didn't have to ask which Alexander she meant.  
  
I thought she was reading to much into it.  
  
"Why do you say that?" I asked sitting up very gently so as not to injure the already forming bruise.  
  
"That shade of blue is Alexander's favorite color." She sighed as if trying to explain this to an exceptionally slow child.  
  
I just sort of half nodded, I guess that made sense.  
  
If I didn't know my sister better I would have thought she had forgiven me, but I did and I knew she would get back at me for this later.  
  
(AN: This is going somewhere I promise! Please review! One really long really nice review can inspire me to write up to a chapter! xoxoxoxo Locke) 


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6- From the frying pan to the fire  
  
When I find myself in time of trouble,  
  
Mother Mary comes to me,  
  
Speaking words of wisdom,  
  
Let it be, let it be.  
  
And in my hour of darkness,  
  
She is standing right in front of me,  
  
Speaking words of wisdom,  
  
Let it be, let it be.  
  
And when the night is clouded,  
  
There is still a light that shines on me,  
  
Shine until tomorrow,  
  
Let it be, let it be  
  
I wake up to the sound of music,  
  
Mother Mary comes to me,  
  
Speaking words of wisdom,  
  
Let it be, let it be,  
  
--Let it be (The Beatles)  
  
"Mathew was right, you're beautiful." Alex complemented me as I twirled quickly to allow him to see the full effect of my dress. "And that color looks good on you."  
  
I wish Harmony thought so, if she did my stomach wouldn't be hurting so badly.  
  
I could never tell if Alex meant complements but this time it sounded more sincere then usual. It wasn't uncommon for older courtiers to have a close guard on their emotions and reactions but it was sad to see in someone my own age. He was impeccably polite and very nice but Areida had told me one of those slow afternoons I spent absorbing her feminine knowledge and enjoying her company he had very few friends.  
  
"Ella worries about him and I have to agree, he's to much like Char for his own good." She had laughed then but that hadn't made sense to me.  
  
"I thought the king was nice." I had protested.  
  
"Of course Char's nice but he and Alex are to noble for their own good. You and my son are the best thing that ever happened to him, but put yourself in his shoes for a moment Lei." She had commanded. "What are the stipulations of being first in line to the throne?"  
  
Dutifully I had closed my eyes and imagined I was Alex. It was an interesting experience. "Well I guess that I would be in danger of assassination." I had said finally.  
  
"Yes, I guess that would be scary but what about the other children who don't want to play with you because they're worried they'll offend you. How do you react when everyone is distant and formal around you?" She had pointed out.  
  
I had opened my eyes quickly, even now it would be horrible, and at six it would have killed me.  
  
I returned to the present and smiled, Alex also looked more handsome then usual in a simple but elegant set of white poet's shirt and dark blue breeches. It made me glad I was wearing gloves. My light blue shoes had high heels and the provided me with a good inch but still only brought the top of my head to eye level, usually it came to his chin.  
  
"Thank you good sir." I joked showing him my best curtsey and ruining the effect by wobbling. "By the way have you seen Mathew?" I asked nonchalantly once I had gotten back my balance. I hadn't seen him sense I had yelled at him last night and it was eating at my consciousness.  
  
"No I haven't." Alex sounded surprised, usually Mathew and I acted like we were tied together, we were rarely out of shouting distance from each other.  
  
I didn't want to tell Alex that Mathew and I were fighting and he was to polite to ask about the puzzlement.  
  
"Well I need to tell him something, tell him if you see him?" I asked.  
  
Alex nodded, he had to go sit with some stiff courtiers during most of the sing so it was rather unlikely that he would see Mathew, but still the slightest chance would be better then nothing.  
  
I got a cup of the spiced and sparkling juice that was always served at sings and wandered around looking for my (hopefully) friend. I found him sitting by himself near a fire, perched on a puffy ottoman. "Hey." I greeted him meekly, not meeting his eyes.  
  
"Hey." He said not really looking up at me.  
  
I took a deep breath and sighed. No one liked to apologize but Mathew deserved it, I had been totally horrible to him earlier. "Look Mathew, I'm really sorry about last night, it was late and I was tired. I didn't mean what I said." I took a deep breath. "I'm sorry."  
  
Mathew thought about that for a moment and then looked up at me and smiled, a wide, happy smile. "What are you talking about?" He asked.  
  
I grinned, a sense of calm washing over me. I felt the muscles in my stomach relax as the knot of tension they had been holding dissipated. I collapsed into a nearby overstuffed chair.  
  
I don't remember falling asleep but I must have because the next thing I knew I was being shaken awake by Mathew. I sat up quickly.  
  
"Wake up Lei they're doing the last song." He said urgently.  
  
As custom dictated I had to sing the last song with my family. I was a little tired and bleary eyed from sleep as I tried desperately to locate father and Harmony but try as I might they were no where in sight. Mathew, his father and Areida hands gently clasped together were rocking slowly back and forth a few feet from me. A tiny pulsing of jealousy shot through my being but I shook it off, I couldn't begrudge Mathew his parents, he more then deserved them.  
  
I spotted Alex too, standing looking a little forlorn amongst the people who all had their family about them looking so happy and I realized how much he must miss his own parents. But his face brightened when he saw that I could find my family and he held out his hands. Without a thought in my head I had cleared the distance between us and taken his hands.  
  
You learn a lot about someone when you sing with them. Alex's voice was deep and well rounded, it sounded much like his father's laugh. He was not he best of singers and he didn't know all the word but it was somehow better then singing with Harmony and father.  
  
The song wound down slowly much to my regret, it was nice to just sing with him. Over his shoulder I saw something that made my hear stand still with fear, Harmony was looking at us with the utmost malice. Instinctively I dropped his warm hands and ran for the exit. No one noticed as they were all busy with their families as I ran as quickly as I could on the impractical shoes.  
  
In our younger years Mathew and I had set out to map the entirety of the castle but after the first forty rooms, the magic and adventure had gone out of it so we gave up. But the experience had given me a clear view of how big the castle was and how easy it would be to get lost in it so I didn't venture to far into it before I sat down against the hall wall.  
  
I decided that I would just wait for morning when everyone would be sleeping before leaving for home, there was a chance that Harmony might have gotten over it by then, but it was a very remote chance.  
  
I was surprised when I heard footsteps coming towards me but I was even more surprised when Alex rounded the corner. He had come after me, I was in worse trouble then I thought, Harmony was sure to have noticed and that would just make her more angry with me.  
  
"What's wrong?" He asked a hint of panic in his voice.  
  
"Nothing, I was just feeling closed in? You ever feel like that?" I asked praying to anyone who was listening that he would believe me.  
  
"Well next time tell me and we can leave, you scared me." He reprimanded me. I nodded my agreement. "I didn't know you could run that fast on those shoes." He snorted.  
  
"You've underestimated me good sir." I raised a curved eyebrow.  
  
"Apparently." He laughed outright.  
  
He was looking around the hall at this point with apparent fascination. "What?" I asked, I had been in this hall a thousand times playing hide-and-go-seek with Mathew as children.  
  
"Well this architecture is phenomenal, is the rest of the palace like this?" He asked. "I haven't been able to see much but the courtroom and banquet hall."  
  
"I suppose so, we could go look if you'd like." I offered.  
  
"Could we?" He sounded so excited that it almost made this worth the beating I would receive from my sister.  
  
"We can but we'll have to think of some way not to get lost." I cautioned.  
  
A nearby room produced a roll of thick twine that hadn't been eaten by mice, which we fastened around the waist of a nearby statue of a singing goddess. "What shall we do if she follows us?" I giggled.  
  
"We'll ask her the way back of course." He replied, sharing my joke.  
  
We wandered though many rooms, most of them in disrepair but still holding traces of lost beauty. But finally we arrived at a staircase that looked as if it had been used not long ago, the carpet was still intact and the rail polished. "We must be near the inhabited parts." I said slightly awe struck at the room.  
  
It was huge and as I spoke the sound reverberated back to me from the high domed ceiling. The oak-paneled walls were bedeck with pictures and half charred torches which we didn't bother to light because the morning sun was spilling in through the skylight at the top of the dome and illuminating the room. But the staircase was surpassed anything else in the room, sweeping up to meet our balcony it was broad and long and beautiful.  
  
"Lei, would you like to slide?" Alex asked a look of painful hope on his face.  
  
(AN: Well what do you think will happen? Did that ch. Suck? Is it lame? Should I trash this whole story? Review!!!) 


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7- Taking the fall  
  
Here I stand head in hand,  
  
Turn my face to the wall,  
  
If she's gone, I can't go on,  
  
Feeling two foot small,  
  
Everywhere people stair,  
  
Each and every day,  
  
I can see them laugh at me,  
  
And I hear them say,  
  
Hey! You've got to hide your love away,  
  
Hey! You've got to hide your love away,  
  
How can I even try, I can never win,  
  
Hearing them,  
  
Seeing them,  
  
In the state I'm in,  
  
How could she say to me,  
  
Love will find away,  
  
Gather round all you clowns,  
  
Let me hear you say,  
  
-The Beatles (You've got to hide your love away)  
  
The handrail was only a little higher then my waist and supported by a thick band of wood carved with fairies and other magical creatures. "I've never tried it." I admitted reluctantly, I didn't want to disappoint him but I also didn't want to kill myself trying something I had never done before.  
  
"Perhaps you could learn?" He asked hopefully.  
  
"Perhaps you could teach me?" I asked and was rewarded by a broad and happy smile.  
  
It looked easy when he did it but he had admitted to years of practice with his parents so perhaps it was easy for him. After he had explained it to me and flew down several times himself it was my turn. I cautiously settled myself on the railing and then I was flying, perhaps not as gracefully as he had but I wasn't falling either. I let out an undignified whoop as I was shot a few feet off from the bottom and landed on Alex who meant to catch me. He hadn't been braced enough and we both toppled to the floor.  
  
"That was fun." I said rolling off of him to the thick red carpet out of breath and laughing.  
  
"You looked so funny." He was laughing to and where as that comment from anyone else would have been offensive he sounded so happy it just made me laugh harder.  
  
"Let's do it again." I suggested when we had both regained our breath.  
  
And so we did it again, Alex sliding first and then catching me at the bottom before we dashed up the stairs to do it again. Finally around mid-morning we fell asleep at the bottom of the stairs both to exhausted to go back to our rooms.  
  
I don't recall falling asleep that morning but I remember waking up very clearly. Surreal would be the only way to explain the seen that greeted me when I awoke. My head was resting on the muscular chest of Prince Alexander Charmont William Jerrold son of King Charmont and Queen Eleanor, heir to the throne of Kyrria, the man I was infatuated with and even more importantly the man my sister was infatuated with.  
  
Once I got over that shock I realized that my hand was clasped in his and it wasn't in anyway innocent, it was a lovers touch and that frightened me out of my wits. It's ok, you're the only one who'll remember this, my brain struggled to rationalize this whole ordeal, and you're the only one who will cherish it, the more sadistic part of myself whispered.  
  
I carefully lifted my head from his chest, waiting for any change in the pace of his breathing, but none came. I sat up and away from him, he looked almost child like in sleep, the lines of his face relaxed, his mouth turned up slightly and his long, dark lashes spread down over his cheeks. I almost giggled but caught myself, I wasn't out of the fire yet, his hand was still tightly around my own.  
  
It took three tries but I finally got my fingers disentangled from his. I didn't stick around for him to wake up, I gathered my skirts in my fists and ran for my rooms, taking the most backwards and out of the way route I knew there. I saw only one servant on the way and he only gave me a startled look before going about his business.  
  
I stripped off the dress, dusty from our adventure through the place and ripped in a few places from sliding down the stair rail and threw it in the back of the closet, I would deal with it later. According to the sundial on my windowsill I had exactically thirty minutes to wash, change and be downstairs for dinner (AN: Remember that this is actually lunch in our terminology) or there'd be hell to pay. Father had mentioned we were having a formal dinner with the DeLac's and I would be in trouble with him if I was late. Not to mention it would aggravate Harmony even more.  
  
I made it in time, but just barely, in fact I made it to the room just as they sat down. Dinner was tedious to say the least, father, the Count DeLac and Ethan mainly discussed business while Harmony alternated between shooting me withering glances and discussing fashion with The Countess. For my part I mainly attempted to replicate a swan I had once seen a Jester fold from paper with my napkin under the table. But he knew what he was doing and could see the paper so my swan ended up looking more like a mentally deficient rabbit.  
  
When I was finally allowed to retreat from the table I didn't go back to my room, I wasn't ready to face my punishment just yet and that was the first place Harmony would look for me.  
  
Perhaps I was hiding from Alex and Mathew also because of the million places my sister would never look for me I chose the history part of the library. And I was quiet sure I was the only person who knew ever ventured there. It wasn't that I was particularly interested in history but there was quiet a comfortable little couch and no one ever disturbed me.  
  
"Like history do you." My heart nearly stopped as someone spoke.  
  
Ethan had followed me and was now leaning lazily against one of the bookshelves. The dress I was wearing was rather conservative but as he looked at me I suddenly felt very naked. "No not really, I was trying to be alone." I said a little more bravely then I felt.  
  
He smirked, leered actually. "You don't like me, do you." He asked bluntly.  
  
I wanted to say yes but I knew better. "I don't know you." I said putting an infuriating air of superiority in my voice. "Now I must go sir."  
  
And before he could get over my annoying snootiness I grabbed the edges of my skirts and marched smartly from the room. Unfortunately I had just been kicked out of the only hiding spot I had that Mathew didn't know of and only a few moments after I had settled myself in the comforting nook of my favorite tree then the branches began to shake and eventually produced my smiling best friend.  
  
"Have a nice lunch?" He asked wryly.  
  
"Absolutely wonderful." I said sarcastically.  
  
"Have you seen Alex?" I stiffened at the sound of his name but caught myself and immediately relaxed.  
  
"No I haven't." I said staring off into the distance.  
  
I had fallen in love with him that morning as he had slept and the horrible thing was that he would never know it. He would fall in love with someone else and I would smile reassuringly as my heart broke because that was the way my life was and I wasn't brave enough to change it.  
  
"You ok?" Mathew asked. "You looked so sad for just a minute there."  
  
I smiled and he returned it. "It's nothing." I assured him.  
  
(AN: Would ya'll like a ch. From Alex's POV next? Or should I just continue with Lei's? Review please people I'm shooting for sixty before ch. 8! But that's probably not realistic!) 


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8- Love and Questions  
  
AN(*****PLEASE READ******): Sorry it took me so long to update (hides head) I've been having some computer difficulties and my life's been really hectic lately but please please please review! Sorry to all you who didn't want Alex's POV, I hope you liked it anyway because I just felt like I didn't have a clear picture of him. I hope his little addition develops him in your mind as much as writing it did in mine. And I would just love some feedback on where my male characters are weak!!!!!!!! And just a forewarning Imagine by John Lennon has nothing to do with the story but I chose it in reflection of the war and because I am a dreamer.  
  
Imagine there's no heaven,  
  
It's easy if you try,  
  
No hell below us,  
  
Above us only sky,  
  
Imagine all the people  
  
living for today...  
Imagine there's no countries,  
  
It isn't hard to do,  
  
Nothing to kill or die for,  
  
No religion too,  
  
Imagine all the people  
  
living life in peace...  
Imagine no possessions,  
  
I wonder if you can,  
  
No need for greed or hunger,  
  
A brotherhood of man,  
  
Imagine all the people  
  
Sharing all the world...  
  
You may say I'm a dreamer,  
  
but I'm not the only one,  
  
I hope some day you'll join us,  
  
And the world will live as one.  
  
-Imagine (John Lennon)  
  
Alexander Jerrold woke up that morning with a slight frown on his lips and a clear truth in his head. He was in love, he knew it and it was going to drive him crazy him. If nothing else the sweet tantalizing smell Lei had left on his clothes was going to do it. The perfume she had been wearing was an popular (if expensive) smell was appealing but under that was the rich, tangy smell that was entirely her own and twice as erotic.  
  
Last night had been a bittersweet victory for him. He had thought as he fell asleep the night before with her unknowing curled up next to him, her warm cheek on his chest and her body relaxed in sleep that nothing could spoil his good mood. But the fact that the object of his affection had left was threatening to prove him wrong.  
  
He had known he was in love with Lei for ages now. At first he had mistook his love for her as lust and that was undoubtedly part of it, as she was a very beautiful woman. But many of the court girls back home were beautiful and he had never had the sort of heart-wrenching, knees weak sensations he felt around her.  
  
He had begun dropping subtle hints (all of which she had ignored) and it had gotten him nowhere but frustrated and so sliding down the stair rail with her had seemed like real progress.  
  
But then his mind looped back around to her leaving and why she would do that if she was romantically interested in him and his hopes were dashed. He couldn't understand her.  
  
"Why do you have to be so confusing?" He asked a loud sitting up and putting his head in his hands.  
  
He didn't really know he was more talking to, Lei or what ever spiteful deity that was looking over his life.  
  
He wondered if she even knew how badly he wanted her, how she traipsed through his dreams in all her tantalizing and unattainable glory. He doubted it, doubted it would make her anything but uncomfortable around him.  
  
He stood and once he remembered where they'd left the rope and retraced their steps he headed back to his room. He would have liked to talk to Lei right away but he remembered that she had been drafted for lunch with the De Lacs.  
  
He supposed the worst part about falling in love with her was that she was so close. She was around him everyday but she might have been oceans away. It would have been easier to pretend that she was only a dear friend if he didn't have to see her everyday.  
  
He opened his door and threw himself down on the bed wishing he was back home where things made the slightest bit of sense but even more then that wishing he could turn back time to last night.  
**Back to Lei's POV**  
On the very first warm day, Alex, Mathew, the damn dog and I went swimming. More accurately the boys went swimming, the dog slept and I watched them while pretending to read.  
  
I found it was difficult but not impossible to pretend to be light hearted again and Alex wasn't any help at all. One moment he'd seem almost interested and the next he'd virtually ignore me. Between him, Harmony, Mathew (who had noticed my odd behavior and was constantly calling me on it) and the other bits of my life I felt like I was trying to hold sugar in a sieve.  
  
Not that I didn't enjoy my time with them and they were kind enough to make sure I would enjoy even if I couldn't participate in all activities even with my broken arm (complements of the epic fight with Harmony).  
  
But finally they became exhausted of swimming and climbed out to shake water all over me. Alex looked great with his jet-black hair all mussed from the water, shirt off and golden chest glistening in the sun. It was enough to make my knees weak enough to be glad I was already sitting or I surely would have toppled over.  
  
"So Lei what do you think is going to happen to us when we're older?" Mathew asked once they were comfortable in the soft grass near me.  
  
I had to think about that. "Strangely enough I think Alex here will be a king someday." I said finally.  
  
"Now where would you ever get an idea like that?" Alex asked sounding genuinely shocked.  
  
"Well I'm inclined to agree with her, you do have a sort of kingly manner about you." Mathew agreed. "Ok so what do you think you and I will end up as?"  
  
"You can be what ever you want, if you became the Court Jester I wouldn't bat an eye." I said after a moment's debate.  
  
"And what about you?" Alex asked looking really interested.  
  
"Oh I don't know, get married, have kids, I've never really thought about it." I admitted.  
  
"What about love?" He persisted.  
  
A few months ago that would have been an easy question to answer. 'Of course I want to fall in love, who wouldn't?' I would have asked but now it was more complicated. I couldn't decide if I would rather have not fallen for Alex. On the more practical side my arm wouldn't be broken and I wouldn't get the sort of painful achy longing in my chest every time he danced with someone else at the sings. But would I really want to live my whole life with the pleasant tickling butterflies I got in my stomach when I looked at him.  
  
I bit my lip, I couldn't directly lie or they would surely catch me out so I told the truth. "I'd like to fall in love but I'd want to do it under practical circumstances." I said and then went on to explain. "For example I wouldn't want to fall in love with someone already married or someone who already found love."  
  
"But the real question is would you still rather fall in love with that hypothetical married man even if you could never do more then dream about it?" Mathew asked turning over onto his belly so he could face me.  
  
I shrugged. "I couldn't tell you." That wasn't exactly a lie, I didn't know but my response also implied I had never been in that situation and while I hadn't I was in a similar one. "What about you, are you glad you fell in love with Allison?" I asked.  
  
"Yes." He said without a moment's hesitation.  
  
You're a braver person then I am Mathew, I thought.  
  
"What about you Alex, would you rather not love then love and not have your love returned?" Mathew asked.  
  
He took a long while to answer and when he did for some reason he looked right at me with one of his most unreadable expressions. "I'm with you, I'd rather have my heart broken then never use it."  
  
Now what exactly was that supposed to mean?  
AN: You guys rock, I would just like to point that out. I'm hoping to make it to 90 reviews before the next ch. But that may be hoping for a little much but please review!!!! So anyway I am going to take a few moments and answer some of my reviews (just from ch. 7 though all of you who reviewed rock just as much) and I hope to make this a habit if you guys like it.  
  
To cheler  
  
Thank you so much it's always nice to have someone tell you they like your stuff.  
  
To: clarylissa  
  
Hope you get better but due to the horrible hecticness of my life you're probably not only better but can't remember the last time you were sick.  
  
To Ella Lee:  
  
I absolutely love long reviews, they simply make my day and I once wrote a whole chapter because of one review so just keep kicking my ass in gear when I get lazy please  
  
To charmgirl  
  
Thanks, there's really not much more to say  
  
To unnamed  
  
Thanks I'm glad you enjoyed it  
  
Shaylee Isobelle  
  
I was shooting for sweet so that's good to hear, I'd like your comments (and everyone who bothered to read this too) about how I wrote Alex, I've never been able to tell if I write good male perspective  
  
To Britt  
  
I tried to write what you suggested but it just came out all muddled, sorry to disappoint you  
  
To Celestrial Eclipse  
  
I love your name (just to start) and I'm sorry it took to long to update, trying to make it longer  
  
To Princess of the Phone Booth  
  
Sorry, I hope it wasn't to confusing, please tell me if I made Alex off at all and I'll try to rectify it in the next chappy  
  
To Cathy  
  
Always good to hear from another Beatles lover, I love that song and I will defiantly try to work it in (sorry in advance if I cant)  
  
To snapdragon  
  
If you want to know about the title I actually picked it because.well I'll explain at the end cause if I said now it would give it away. But yes I love the Beatles and everything to do with them  
  
To Clover  
  
Sorry it took so long to update  
  
To ZombieGurl  
  
I hope once again that switching POVs didn't loose anyone but I would love some feedback on how Alex character came out. And I am in agreement with you on the second count, what Harmony needs a good thrashing  
  
To heavengurl899  
  
I'm glad you like it, keep reviewing please!  
  
To cat  
  
Thanks so much  
  
To Selena-Sira  
  
I made Lei and Mathew talkative for a couple of reasons, the first is practical. It wouldn't make much of a story if they were quiet all the time now would it? And the second is just because it sort of sets them away from the stereo type of Ayortha  
  
To Goldberry  
  
I would be happy to mail you and I'm glad you like my story  
  
Ella E. Fan  
  
Ah, a fellow romantic, never fear there will be lots of smooches in later chapters  
  
To melissa  
  
I would love to hear if Alex's section helped you get a better understanding of him and what questions you would like answered about him  
  
To me  
  
I am so sorry about the delay I really am, please forgive me  
  
To Clare  
  
I love your name, that's exactly how my best friend spells it to. Anyway, I hope you like Alex's POV as well and am glad you like it  
  
Wheww well hope you liked it and please review  
  
Xoxoxox love you always  
  
Locke 


	9. Chapter 9

Now I'm stepping out this old brown shoe  
  
Baby I'm in love with you  
  
I'm so glad you came here  
  
It won't be the same now, I'm telling you  
  
I may appear to be imperfect  
  
my love is something you can't reject  
  
I'm changing faster that the weather  
  
If you and me should get together  
  
Who knows baby, you may comfort me  
  
I'm so glad you came here  
  
It won't be the same now when I'm with you  
  
Yeah, yeah, yeah  
  
Tu la, tu ru tu  
  
Chapter 9- Visitors and Getting it out in the open  
  
Well time passed slowly the next few months and spring ripened into full summer. The days became sweltering and the boys and I spent most of our time in the shade fanning ourselves and drinking the icy sweet liquid Areida made for us from lemons and sugar. And nothing to exciting happened because the inescapable heat had sapped everyone's energy.  
And then one day when I was down at the well splashing my face with the cool water Alex came running up looking happier then I'd seen him sense that night we'd slid down the stair railing together. "Guess what?" He asked positively writhing with anticipation.  
"What?" I asked agreeably.  
"My families coming to visit." He said. "Even my siblings."  
"That's exciting.but I thought siblings weren't supposed to get along." I teased him.  
He laughed. "I was glad to be rid of them but I miss them now. Crystal, the next oldest is the only one who's learned her letters yet and she writes me sometimes but I still miss them all." He admitted.  
I thought that was rather cute and leaned across the well to tousle his hair with my hand. "You're as good a brother as you are a friend Alex." And for some reason that made him blush and looked away so I hastily changed the subject. "Does Mathew know yet?" I asked.  
"Yes I stopped to tell him on the way over here but he was right in the middle of the exciting bit of his book so he said to go tell you and he'd come find us when he knew what was going to happen." He explained.  
That sounded like Mathew. "So when are they coming?" I asked as we turned together to walk toward the nearest tree.  
"Week after next." He said as we settled ourselves against its trunk. "There's going to be a big carnival to celebrate and all that rot but at least I'll get to see them."  
I giggled. "Oh come off it Alex you sound like it's a chore." I teased. "Surely there's some lucky girl you're planning to ask?"  
But that wasn't so much my teasing him, I really wanted to know. I knew I was playing with fire but I couldn't help it. "No there's not." He said shortly, almost angrily ending the light-hearted direction of our conversation.  
"Well then you and Mathew and I will go." I said. "No big deal." Why was that such a touchy subject for him.  
Surely if he'd fallen for someone she hadn't been stupid enough to refuse him, she must be blind if she had. But apparently my peace offering worked and he looked back at me and said calmly. "Yeah, let's do that."  
  
The next few weeks were a flurry of motion. In the excitement of getting ready for the visitors and what promised to be the biggest sing and social event of the year most people had thrown off their sedated manner. And even it even had Mathew who was a staunch believer that frills and fuss (his words not mine) were for people who were stupid to have any real substance asking if his shirt looked good with his slacks.  
Harmony was in her element, she spent hours discussing with her best friend Violet (I was forced to attend these meetings as well by my well- meaning but sadistic father) colors, cloths, cuts and accoutrements for their gowns. It made my head spin how much time they could spend revamping their plan for the day of the party but by the day before they had devised a ridged schedule. Which thankfully included time for them to play life- sized doll with me because I wouldn't have had a clue how to do it myself.  
Violet was in her own way worse then Harmony. She was a tall, thin girl with a horse-like face, a loud voice and sharp eyes that could pick the smallest stain out on my clothes. Harmony might be violent and jealous but Violet grated my nerves like no one else could.  
On the night before Alex's family was due to arrive the three of us were allowed to run amok in the carnival which had been sustained in the courtyard of the castle for the past three nights. Mathew had told me to meet them at one of the big trees we all knew about and we'd all go in together but when I arrived only Mathew was there.  
"Hey lovely." I greeted him. "Where's Alex?"  
"He won't be along for a while, I told you to meet me here early." He explained. "We need to talk." That was confusing, he looked confused if not pained about something.  
"Sure." I agreed amicably.  
"First I'd like to get out onto the table that I have noticed your infatuation with Alex." He laughed at my stunned expression. "Lorelei De Lac you didn't honestly think I hadn't did you? You've been my esteemed associate and best friend for almost five years now but yet you still think I haven't a clue how to read you." He pointed out.  
"Is it obvious?" I choked out, if Alex had noticed..  
"Not to Alex." He put my fears to rest. "But it is to me." He said.  
An amazing sense of relief washed over to me, it had been hard keeping that secret bottled up inside me for months now and it was so nice to be able to tell someone. Someone who wouldn't laugh or hit me for my trouble. "I think I love him Mathew, I really do." I said looking down at my feet.  
"Well I think you should tell him that." Mathew decided. "You might be surprised at what he says."  
"I'll tell him sometime I suppose." I agreed. "Maybe when I've gotten over it, maybe when one of us is about to get married. But I think I'll save that particular humiliation for a later date."  
  
"I think you're making a mistake." He cautioned. "But it's your mistake to make now isn't it. But remember you can always come to me for anything. I'll always listened."  
"Thanks." I said quietly.  
Mathew laughed knowing I was uncomfortable with the silence. "Do you remember that time when we sneaked into the kitchen when we were supposed to be at church for that wedding and ate the cake she'd been making all day for the party. And she came home early and threatened to disembowel us?" He asked.  
I giggled too, remembering. "I couldn't get out fast enough in all my Sunday finery and you being you stuck around and waited for me." We were both howling by this point.  
"And you started crying because you thought she'd really do it." We were on our knees doubled over and out of breath from the vision of the cooks livid face staring down at little Mathew and Lorelei with cake all over our faces.  
And that's how Alex found us, laughing to hard to speak coherently enough to explain what was so funny and crying as we tried our hardest. But when the laughter finally subsided and my sides stopped aching so badly we finally managed to explain that it was just a you had to have been there moment.  
Alex looked very handsome in a casual white tunic and forest green slacks. "You're both nutters." He informed us jovially.  
"And that's why you love us." Mathew said shooting me an only have joking stare.  
I glared at him, if he told Alex anything about what we'd been talking about.but he'd never do that. I hope.  
"Well men." I said attempting to look as I thought a commander should before a battle. "Lets make tonight count for tomorrow I suffer." And with that and a laugh we headed out into the carnival.  
  
REVEWS: If you reviewed the last chapter please look for your name (Sorry if it's hard to read I did the best I could) *Elwen*- I'm really glad you like the story, thanks for the help tell me what you think of this one please *Charmgirl*- I'm glad you liked the last update, hope you like this one as well. And as to my male characters I don't know if they're weak or not, that's what I want to know.That and how to improve them *melissa*- When I read your review I was elated, I am so glad you like my characters and that's really almost exactly what I was shooting for. Thanks so much and I'll keep trying to improve Alex and really all my characters and you just keep up with the great advice alright? *Cheler*- I'm glad you liked it. Its good to know there are other hopeless romantics out there, I'm going to put a sweet scene in here ASAP *Clare*- I'm so glad you liked my story, its very flattering that you were inspired to write me both your first and second reviews and I'm glad you weren't disappointed with Alex's POV *Anon*- I'm glad you're enjoying my story but I'm sure you're a quiet talented writer, if you'd like to mail me one or two or your stories I'd be honored to read over them and make a few suggestions *Me*- I hope you liked this post and hope to get then next one out ASAP for you *Fearless Sweep Gurl*- I'm so glad you liked my story, please review again (love the name but not really sure what it means) *TallemeraRane*- I hope that I didn't put so many spaces between my replies to reviews has helped and I hope you enjoy this post as much as I enjoyed writing it *clarylissa *- Thanks for being so understanding and I'm glad you enjoyed the last post, hope you like this one too *Clearbrook*- Glad you liked the chapter and yes I feel bad for what I'm putting Alex through but never fear as tempting as it is to end this Romeo and Juliet style I don't really have the heart to *Heavengurl899*- I haven't really decided what to do with Harmony, my storys really decide where they go on their own and then tell me about it after they've done it but I hope you like the ending anyway *fwd*- I hadn't really thought of Mathew/Lei but I don't think that's where I'm headed.sorry if that disappoints you but I hope you like it anyway *Nikki*- so glad you like my writing tell me what you think of this chapter *Mooky*- I'm glad you like Lei, I also find storys where the main characters have no flaws and manage everything with ease it just gets dull after a while doesn't it? *Violet Angel*- I'm sure Lei shall end up with Alex and thanks ever so much for the feedback *Sidereus Pheonix*- I'm so glad you liked my story and I'm sorry about all the suspense but how fun would it really be if it was quick and painless.none at all and please do add this to your favorites that makes my day when people do that *Apple Frreak*- Thanks for noticing that but Mathew's a devious guy and I suspect he noticed right off the bat and just kept quiet to see if the whole bloody thing would blow over, I don't know really what do you think? *Coon*- I hope you like this update*Becker*- Glad you like my story, tell me what you think of the new chappie please *Okie*- Glad you liked my story and I am also a major fan of lovebird silliness (aren't we all) and my story is called Octopus' Garden after a beautiful song by the Beatles (if you've never heard it I would strongly recommend it to anyone, or any other Beatles song by that matter) the octopus's garden for me symbolizes paradise, utopia somewhere where you're safe and loved that sort of thing *Delta*- Glad you enjoyed it, please tell me what you think of this new chapter Alexa- glad you like it but I updated much later then January.oh well hope you like this post  
  
Well thanks to everyone please review.its my drug of choice  
  
All my love Locke! 


	10. Chapter 10

AN: I'M A BAD PERSON! I'm so sorry this took so long to get up, I took a three week vacation and didn't get to write much on it so that's why there were delays. I'm sorry I meant to get to the smooches in this chapter but I felt like it took long enough to get this up anyway so I promise there will be many smooches in the next one!!! I'm hoping to make it to 150 reviews but that could just be a pipe dream but REVIEW ANYWAY PLEASE!!! I LOVE FEEDBACK!!!!!!!!  
  
Chapter 10- Preparations  
  
You'd say I'm putting you on  
  
But it's no joke, it's doing me harm  
  
You know I can't sleep, I can't stop my brain  
  
You know it's three weeks, I'm going insane  
  
You know I'd give you everything I've got  
  
For a little peace of mind.  
  
--The Bealtes (I'm So Tired)  
  
The morning of the big day dawned clear and beautiful and I should know because I had been roused at the ungodly hour of seven by my sister and all her chattering friends. "What ever happened to beauty sleep?" I wondered a loud rubbing sleep from my dropping eyes as we ate our light breakfast.  
  
"Don't eat to much Lorelei or you'll never fit into your dress." Violet cautioned me as I reached for a roll. I guess that was sound advise I thought as I picked carefully at my roll. The latest Kyrian fashion involved impossibly small waists and over the last month anything Kyrian had instantly become fashionable.  
  
"Speaking of her dress." Another friend whose name I didn't know added. "You never did tell us what her dress looks like Harmony."  
  
Her friends didn't like me and treated me with disdain commonly heaped on little sisters. But that didn't mean they didn't want to hear about my dress, any dress was interesting. And they knew better then to ask me about it, this time I had actually seen my dress but wouldn't have been able to remember who designed it, or the name of the style.  
  
I liked my dress though, it was a dark red with a narrow waist and a flaring skirt. It was cut low enough in the front to make me slightly uncomfortable but telling Harmony she could get me whatever dress she wanted had gotten me out of a whole afternoon's planning.  
  
My father when he had gotten the news that there would be a little under a dozen of my sisters friends over to get ready for a ball all day had fled to his best friends house for the day. Leaving the house to us with only the lose instruction that he wanted it to be in the same place when he got back. So my day was spent wandering in and out of rooms with only partially dressed young women and if they hadn't been wanting to do things like pluck my eyebrows I might have believed I had slipped off into some sort of surreal male fantasy world.  
  
But finally after long hours of beautification and even longer hours of waiting I was ready. I had spent most of the day in my undergarments but now (surprisingly right on schedule) Harmony was helping me into my gown. I stepped into the cool satiny inside of my gown and pulled the short, blood red sleeves over my arms and she began to adjust the laces as I grabbed her bedpost to provide some resistance.  
  
"Inhale as I pull." She instructed me. "Now I'm going to pull the laces tight and then tie them off. In just a second I'm going to get into my gown can you do the same for me?" She asked.  
  
I nodded and inhaled as she tightened my bodice. The effect, even without the matching gloves and shoes (I didn't see why they had to be so high as you couldn't even see them under my dress, but according to Harmony it helped me hold myself in the correct manor) was nice. She had left my curls down to spill over my shoulders and in a random act of extreme generosity let me wear mothers old pearls. Harmony knew what she was doing and I felt comfortable, giddy even in my own skin. And despite my foreboding feeling that I might get my heart broken in the course of the evening to come there were butterflies rattling my stomach.  
  
My sisters' gown was a dark forest green that her eyes absorbed well. And when I pulled it tight around her already slender waist I realized that it bunched up at the top to make her breasts appear larger. I thought she looked nice as she surveyed herself in the mirror but she was frowning.  
  
"Violet." She called summoning her friend who had been applying her make up in the room next to hers. "What's missing?" She whined. "I know there's something missing."  
  
"I think you need a necklace." Violet said after a moment's inspection. "I thought if you didn't wear one it would make the dress look elegant and simple, like you'd barely tried but it needs something extra."  
  
They considered this for a few moments while I sat playing with one of the curls in my hair. "Lorelei let me borrow your locket won't you?" She asked looking up from the vanity.  
  
"Sure let me got get it for you." I agreed. I wouldn't need it tonight and a few good points with Harmony never hurt.  
  
I made my way into the dark quiet of my room and sat down for a moment on my bed to enjoy the respite from the chatter and people. I had just cleared my thoughts and was searching through my case of jewelry when a pebble hit my window.  
  
Mathew was standing in my backyard looking amused with a handful of pebbles in his hand. "Come down fair lady and let me sweep you away to the ball." He said in a falsely pompous voice.  
  
"You're early Mathew and totally off your rocker if you think me capable or willing of climbing down in this dress and shoes. Give me a moment to tell my sister I'm leaving and wait for me at the front door like a civilized being." I called down. "And I wouldn't suggest going in if I were you goofball, there are around a dozen young women in here who could and would make you rue the day you were born if you were to burst in on them while they were changing."  
  
"I shall be waiting for you my dove." He said sweeping me his finest bow.  
  
The goof. I went back, delivered my necklace to Harmony and met Mathew on my porch. "Alex is going to have a heart failure when he sees you." Mathew informed me with a smirk, momentarily slipping out of his charade as a pompous noble.  
  
"And just where is Alex?" I asked choosing to ignore his blatant hint that I should confess my feelings to our friend.  
  
"Prince Alexander was unavoidably detained by a lovely young woman by the name of Miss Crystalline who requested his services to escort her to the ball." He said.  
  
A red hot flash of jealously twisted in my stomach but I made an effort not to change my expression and think I succeeded. "I don't believe I've met her, who is she?" I asked.  
  
"Is that jealousy I detect in your eyes mademoiselle?" He teased.  
  
"Yes it is Mathew now really who is she?" I pleaded.  
  
He laughed loudly. "Why she's his twelve year old sister." I blushed, feeling very foolish, of course he had told me about Crystal, the one who wrote him.  
  
"Don't worry about it." Mathew snickered but then more seriously. "Love makes you crazy doesn't it?"  
  
I nodded. "I suppose so, I suppose so."  
  
"Well come on lovely, you've got a ball to charm and I've got a plate of food with my name on it." He said offering me his arm.  
  
"No time to waste huh Mathew?" I said sarcastically.  
  
"Not a moment." He grinned.  
  
Alex hadn't meant to drift off, just to rest his eyes for a few moments, but the bed had been so soft and it was so peaceful he couldn't help himself. He was awakened by a loud rapping noise against his door. He sat up quickly and shook the sleep from his mind. "Come in." He called.  
  
It was Ethan DeLac. "Did I wake you Your Highness?" Ethan asked.  
  
"Yes and thank you, I needed to get ready for the ball anyway." Alex had rarely spoken to Ethan before tonight, he had been polite enough on the off occasion they had met but never what he would have considered a friend. "Oh it's just Alex please." Alex insisted.  
  
"You honor me Alex."  
  
"The honor is all mine you are assured." Alex said politely. "But you don't mind if I freshen up while we talk do you?"  
  
"Oh no go right ahead." Ethan said. Several moments of long silence lapsed after that and just as Alex was going to ask what the intent of Ethan's visit was the other man spoke. "I've noticed the way you act around Lorelei." He stated bluntly.  
  
Alex looked up from where he was washing his face in the basin left out for just that purpose. "I'm afraid I don't know what you're speaking of." Alex said as evenly as he could.  
  
Ethan sighed. "Alex, I'm not trying to hurt you here but I've noticed how you act when you're around her." Alex nodded. "And I just wanted to warn you that your feeling aren't reciprocated."  
  
Alex felt numb but his mouth was on autopilot. "Well my thanks to you." He told Ethan.  
  
"I'm sorry I had to be the one to tell you but I just didn't want you to humiliate yourself." Ethan said, sounding sincere.  
  
"No it's fine, I'm glad you said it." He told the older man. "Well I guess I'll see you at the ball then?" It was a polite but obvious dismissal.  
  
Ethan bowed himself out, leaving Alex to his self doubt and preparations for the ball.  
  
Alex silently cursed himself for feeling so let down by what Ethan had said. After all it had only confirmed what Alex already knew but it still hurt to hear. It hardly seemed fair: in his privileged life Alex had wanted very little but now that he wanted something so desperately life denied him that.  
  
AN: Well I hope you guys like this one. I love all you who reviewed! You guys rock and so here are my comments back to you.  
  
((Cheler))- I'm glad you enjoy my story and something is going to happen I swear to god, just wait for the next chapter!! Thanks and tell me what you thought about this chappie please!! ((Fearless-sweap-gurl))- I'd tell you where I got my name but it would give away a lot about my identity but it's also out of a book. Anyway yes it is time for them to admit their love and I it will happen in the next chapter!! ((clarylissa))- Yes Mathew is a fun character to write because he's just such a sweetie, glad you like my story please tell me what you think of this chap ((Beckar))- I'm so glad you like my writing style and I swear there will be a romantic scene in the next chapter!!! ((Alqualyne))- You're review was one of my favorites I have to say. I guess Lei had just kept a secret way to long and was scared that it would now get off. And I don't think all the evil people look bad, Ethan who in my mind is the most deceptive and evil character is really quiet attractive. But Harmony and Violet look bad mainly because that's the way they look in my imagination I guess. But seriously I really loved your review it kept me on my toes, I wasn't really clear about a lot of things so thanks for catching me on a few. ((sonchika))- I'm glad you like my story please tell me what you think of this chapter ((The Dark Rose of Insanity))- I'm glad you like my story, I'm so sorry your life sucks and I'm glad I could help with this fic I promise to end the suspense ASAP ((Charmgirl))- I'm so glad you like my characters and I am SO sorry that this took so long I am such a bad person ((TallemeraRane))- I swear to god I will end the suspense in the next chapter! Thanks for waiting ((Al))- So glad you like it ((melissa))-Gosh, you really know how to flatter a girl don't you? Thanks so much and I am so glad you like my story. I'm working on chapter 11and I swear I'll put the romantic dialogue in, please tell me what you think some more I love your reviews, they're very good for my self esteem and vanity ((alli)- glad you like the fic tell me what you think of this chap ((Clearbrook))- glad you liked it, tell me what you think of this post ((ally))-I'm a romantic as well so I know where you're coming from. I don't know if I have the skills to be a writer but I'll certainly try to make you happy by adding romance in the next chapter! ((heavengurl899))- Thanks, I'm glad you like it, tell me what you think of this chapter ((RoyalNovelists))- Thanks I hope you liked this chapter ((alli))- thanks glad you like it ((Gothamin)) I'm glad you like my story, I'll write more soon (( tuimoftheeast))- glad you like my story! 


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11- Rain  
  
Obladi oblada life goes on bra  
  
Lala how the life goes on  
  
Obladi Oblada life goes on bra  
  
Lala how the life goes on.  
  
--The Bealtes (Ob-la-di Ob-la-da)  
  
The clouds were saturated with rain as Mathew and I walked quickly to the ballroom, which I thought was odd as the day had been so sunny. Inside everyone was dressed in their fineries and the room was practically sparkling from all the polishing the servants had done.  
We were a little early but there were still a healthy amount of people already arrived. Mathew, who was a good half a head taller then I scouted around for our friend. "He's waving us over from that table." Mathew pointed over the heads of the surrounding people.  
Alex introduced us to his little sister Crystal who reminded me strongly off what I had always imagined Ella to be like at that age. Stubborn, independent, a little out of place at this formal gathering but funny to boot.  
We chatted comfortably, occasionally joined by Ella, Char or one of Mathew's parents. We didn't see much of Alex, who was, without fail, asked to dance every song while I tried to concentrate on the conversation and not scrutinize all his dance partners.  
"Come on Lorelei, up on your feet we're going to give poor Alex a little respite." Mathew said around midnight.  
"And how are you planning to do that?" I asked, trying to sound light hearted while their was panic laced in every syllable, Mathew still didn't grasp how bad it would be to confront Alex with my feelings and this was more likely then not a thinly veiled plot to give me an opportunity to.  
"No trick my doubtful friend, you cut me to the quick you really do, we are merely assisting our friend in his hour of need." Mathew swore as we made our way to the edge of the dance floor near where Alex was dancing, with a very pretty blond I noticed.  
"May I cut in?" Mathew asked, stepping out onto the dance floor and waylaying the pair.  
Alex stepped aside and Mathew offered his arm to the girl, who was giving him a rather reproachful look for cutting into her time with Alex. That was my cue. "May I have the honor of this dance sir?" I asked.  
"Of course good lady." He assured me offering his arm.  
It was a slow song, which allowed for conversation but I was to fixated on the feeling of his large, warm hand on my hip and the feeling of our intertwined fingers, all the while trying to keep up with his elegant grace to think of anything to say. So it was Alex who struck up the conversation. "Tell Mathew thank you when you see him, I don't think I could have taken another moment of forced conversation." He told me as we moved around the room.  
I know it was horrible of me, but I was glad he wasn't having a good time. "Not even one of your partners drew your fancy?" I pressed. I was gambling with dangerous emotions but I escaped unscathed.  
"Excepting yourself of course, not one." He grinned at me.  
God how I wished he meant that. "You flatter me." I smiled.  
"So how do you like my sister?" He asked, changing the subject.  
"She's quiet a character and precocious as well, I don't feel like I'm talking to an eleven year old at all." I told him, looking down to make sure I still had the foot work right.  
"You're fine." He assured me and I looked back up. "But yes Crystal isn't really a normal child." A moment of silence passed as we just tried not to stare at each other and I concentrated on keeping up with the complicated movement.  
"Come on, lets go sit outside for a little while. I can't take much more of this." He said and as the song ended he grabbed my hand and we ducked out. It was raining lightly by this time but we stood under the arched stone awning of the formal entrance to the Castle.  
"If we're going to be here long I'm going to need somewhere to sit." I told him, enjoying the wonderfully clean smell of the air. "I can't stand for long in these ridiculous heels."  
We sat on one of the ornate stone benches leaning against each other's backs. "Did you ever want to tell someone but you weren't sure if they'd like it?" He asked. "Like you weren't sure if it would ruin your relationship or not?" He asked finally.  
"Sure, why?" I asked, wondering what could have sparked this turn in our conversation.  
I felt his shoulders shrug behind me. "What do you think you should do in that situation." He asked.  
"I think you should tell them, I don't think it's healthy to keep something like that bottled up in you." I said, acutely aware of how hypocritical that was. But as they say, do what I say not what I do.  
I felt Alex's back lean forward slightly and knew it was my cue to face him. "Ok, because there's this girl who I really like." He began and suddenly I regretted what I had said.  
"Look, I'm not sure if you should tell me this." I began, not knowing if I could hear him profess love for someone. "I mean it's your business right?"  
But he wasn't going to be deterred. "And she has no idea how I feel but she's beautiful Lei and I feel like I could spend the rest of my life with her." I dragged in a shuddering breath as he brushed a tendril of my hair back away from my face. "I think I'm in love." He said softly, looking directly at me.  
I leaned away from him, knowing if that he touched me that I my tenuous grip on calm would fall apart. "Who is she?" I asked, my voice a little shaky but I was surprised I could manage even that.  
"She's....she's you." He sounded almost guilty, like he expected a slap or reprimand for saying it.  
I blinked, not able to believe my ears, almost expecting him to say he was joking. But he wasn't meeting my eyes and he was still talking and looking deadly serious. "I know you don't feel the same and I hope we can still be friends and all. But I just had to say it." He looked up at me, almost shyly. "Is that ok?" He asked.  
I don't remember any of the thought process leading up to what I did next, my mind was still mostly soup, but I know it was me who leaned forward and initiated the kiss. He didn't move for a moment but then he pulled me closer and began to kiss back.  
It was the kind of kiss everyone dreams off and I got everything you're supposed to have, fireworks, music and all. His lips were so soft and I leaned toward him and he slipped a hand around my waist to deepen the kiss. I could feel the heat radiating from him and I sighed as his tongue slipped into my mouth and began to massage mine.  
I don't know how long we kissed but the next thing I knew I was pulling back. Alex had laced his fingers through my hair and I had thought, 'I'm so glad Harmony left my hair down,' and then my mind blinked to Harmony. She would kill me if she knew I was snogging her crush.  
I looked at him, his face lit by the light filtering out from the party and he looked so handsome just then I almost leaned back in but I knew it would be more painful to let him go later. "I have to go." I said looking down to avoid his eyes as my own stung and began to well up.  
And before he could say or do anything I got up and ran back into the party. I didn't say good bye to Mathew, Crystal or anyone else I just went back into my room, walking slowly through the rain not caring that I was going to get quiet the verbal beating from my father for ruining my dress.  
By the time I made it to my room my hair was plastered to my head and though the night was fairly warm I was shivering. I peeled the wet material off my body and without bothering to change further then that crawled between the covers feeling as like someone had removed my innards and replaced them with red hot metal.  
Why did Harmony have to like him? I wailed in desperation wanting to break something. It wasn't fair but after a brief rage followed by a long crying jag I was so physically and emotionally exhausted I collapsed back under the covers and surrendered for sleep.  
  
APPLE-FRREAK- I'm glad you like my story and writing style and Ethan is the prat from chapter two I think it is CLARYLISSA- I'm so glad you liked my story, Ethan is the jerk from before, he's in chapter two and a few others CHELER-Yes Ethan does suck, that's his main character trait and I hope you weren't disappointed by the romantic dialogue MELISSA- I'm so glad you like my story, and I love the way you perceive Ethan I was really trying to keep him away from clichés and all that, anyway tell me what you think of the romance!! PAIGE-You know I thought about making a love triangle but ditched the idea for that exact reason, to stressful and overused, anyway glad you like my story but tell me what you think of this new installment and it's romance MADDIE-I'm so glad you liked my story, tell me how you like the romance in this chapter WHIMSICALITY-I hate Ethen too but I'm pretty sure this is going to end happily but I make no promises AMBER-You know I love it that people seem attached to my characters, I hope that means that they aren't flat, anyway tell me what you think of this latest chappie DON'T-ASK- Yes, big suspense fan actually, hope you like the romance MYGERBIL-Yes Ethan is very evil and yes he is plotting against Alex FUSSICHICK-I'm glad you like my story so much and I will really consider writing from Mathew's POV CHARMGIRL-glad you like the update and yes Ethan is quiet evil LSTCHARMED1-I'm glad you like my story, tell me how you like this new chapter and the romance and all GRACE-Glad you like my story and characters and all, tell me what you think of my romance writing HEAVENGURL889- I don't think I'm abandoning this fic but tell me how you like it ok? AMA'-Glad you like my story, tell me what you think of this new chapter HAPPY SNAPPY-Glad you like my story, Ethan is trying to sabotage everything because he's a stupid git, but please tell me what you think of this new chapter CLEARBROOK-Glad you like my writing, I'll be sure to send you a copy if I ever get a book published so tell me what you think of my latest chapter CHEEZE-PUFF-Actually you're very good with reviews, flattery goes a long way let me tell you. Tell me what you think of my new chapter AVNI-Glad you like my writing, maybe I'll take your advice but writing is just a hobby for me really but maybe I'll take it seriously someday but until then tell me what you think of my new chapter CELESTIAL ECLIPSE-Hope you like my writing, tell me what you think of my new chapter LITTLEMISSMUFFET-Glad you like my story, I'll try to make my chapters longer but tell me what you think of this one CLAIRE BEAR3-Glad you like the story and I'll consider your suggestion, but tell me what you think of this chapter  
  
AN: Well I hope you guys liked my attempt at writing a good romance seen, keep the reviewing up! It's my drug of choice!! XOXOXOX  
  
Locke 


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12- Tired  
  
You'd say I'm putting you on  
  
But it's no joke, it's doing me harm  
  
You know I can't sleep, I can't stop my brain  
  
You know it's three weeks, I'm going insane  
  
You know I'd give you everything I've got  
  
For a little peace of mind  
  
--I'm so Tired (The Beatles)  
  
When I woke it was well past noon judging by the sunlight streaming in from the window. The earthy smell of rain was still lingering in the air but it looked like it was going to be a beautiful day. It seemed as if there was something I should remember but it didn't seem important on such a nice day.  
  
Someone was knocking on my door. I donned my over robe and went to let them. "Oh good morning Matthew." I smiled and let him in.  
  
He looked at me as if I had grown an extra head. "What is going on?" He demanded pushing past me, his face stormy. "You know I love you Lei but Alex is a person and you can't just toy with his emotions." I had never seen him look this angry, especially not at me.  
  
I gulped, Matthew was down right scary when he had a mind to be. And then the memories of the previous night came crashing down on my head. I was never going to explain my actions. Why hadn't I denied my feeling for Alex? I sunk to the bed and racked my mind for a plausible excuse.  
  
But my mind felt as if it had been wrung out so I opted for the partial truth. "Look Matthew, I'm not trying to hurt Alex. This is possibly worse for me then it is for him but we can't be together and I can't tell you why. We're all going to have to learn to accept that." I said my voice cracking as I fought back tears.  
  
"Oh Lei." He came and sat next to me on the bed and pulled me against his shoulder. When I stopped crying what seemed like an eternity later his shirt was soaked with my hot tears and I felt no better. "I'm sorry I thought that about you. I was just so upset and angry when Alex told me what happened last night." He said patting my hair, still mussed from the night of sleep.  
  
"It's Ok, I'm sorry I can't tell you my side." I said, my face bright red and raw from salt.  
  
"Why not?" He asked.  
  
I shook my head. "Just can't." I said. "Please don't push it."  
  
But no such luck. He tried different things for a little under half an hour until finally he slipped. "Well you'd better figure out your issues pretty damn quick because Alex is leaving tonight." He sighed in frustration.  
  
"What?" I practically yelled.  
  
"Char and Ella invented some family crisis when he told them what happened with you. They can't leave right away, the roads aren't good enough from the rain but they should be leaving by tomorrow." He said. "That's what I came here to tell you."  
  
I ran into my closet and pulled on the nearest thing, a mourning dress from some funeral or another, but it seemed appropriate. "Matthew I have to go, I'll see you later all right?" I said and hurried downstairs.  
  
I was just getting out the door when he came half way down the stairs. "Lei, you want me to come?" He asked.  
  
I tried to smile my thanks. "No I need to do this alone." And I hurried off.  
  
I don't remember anything about the walk to Alex's and what seemed like a second later I was standing outside his chambers. I bit my lips, this was taking more courage then I ever knew I had. But I raised my hand and knocked.  
  
Crystal opened the door. "My brother doesn't want to talk to you." She told me, sharply, no hint of the lovely, sweet girl who I had laughed at last night. But I respected her choice even if it made me want to cry, I had hurt her brother and probably deserved this pungent anger.  
  
"Crystal please, I really need to talk to Alex." I begged, regretting my brash decision.  
  
She glared at me. "You have a lot of nerve coming back here." She started to lecture me.  
  
"No Crystal it's Ok, just let her in." Alex said from inside the room. She looked like she didn't think this was such a good idea but stepped aside anyway. "Can we speak alone?" He asked Crystal.  
  
"Alex." She warned quietly.  
  
"Please?" He asked.  
  
She made a noise low in her throat, gave me a withering look and stepped out. Alex looked about as miserable, rumpled and tired as I felt but still beautiful. His black hair was all in his eyes, it had grown out a little since he had arrived I noticed. "Did you have something to say?" He asked, quietly, no anger, just a quiet sort of acceptance.  
  
"Not really, I just couldn't let you go without seeing you again." I felt tears prick the back of my eyes. "I mean Alex you're my friend, why can't we just leave it at that?" I asked.  
  
He sighed and sat down on his bed. "We can't leave it at that Lei because I love you." Good answer Alex, good answer, I thought clinically, but it ripped my heart into two neat pieces.  
  
I moved to put my arms around him out of habit but he moved back. "Please don't touch me, if you touch me and then you leave..." He trailed off. "I don't think I can take that." There was a physical pain in my chest as I nodded.  
  
"It never would have worked out between us." I said, swallowing my tears down around a lump in my throat. "I was only trying to be practical." Only after the words left my mouth did I realize they were too close to the truth.  
  
"Why not?" He asked.  
  
"Because it wouldn't have." I said lamely.  
  
"Don't give me that Lorelei, just don't do it. I can take your rejection but don't patronize me. I'm not a little kid, you don't have to look out for my feelings." He said sharply.  
  
"Why did you have to kiss me?" I asked, an accusatory note in my voice, although I knew all to well emotions that he had been feeling. They could drive you to much greater madness then a mere kiss.  
  
"Because I love you." He sounded so defeated I wanted to die. And in that instant I gave up my last strain of sanity with the realization that if I loved him I would have to let him go. Harmony would ruin our lives together, she was more cunning then I could ever know and I would never outsmart her unless I invoked love, something she didn't understand.  
  
So I swallowed my pride and my reason and did the most painful thing I could. I had never been a good liar before but now the silver ill truths slid off my forked tongue with ease and Alex believed me. Perhaps because what I was saying was so crazy it was hard to believe I had made it up.  
  
Remorseful sounding sentiments about how if we couldn't be friends I would appreciate him staying away from me resounded about the room. He nodded thought my whole speech and didn't cry once but when I had run out things he stood up. "I understand, you won't have to see me anymore. I shall be returning to my home tomorrow." He said with a sad smile as he showed me to the door. "I will never stop loving you." He promised just before it shut and I think I saw a tear run down his cheek but he turned away to quickly for me to be sure.  
  
I returned to my room and cried away the afternoon knowing I would never be the same again.  
  
It was three years before I saw Alex again and I had changed vastly from the shy eighteen year old I had been when we last met. I was a little taller and I was a little more comfortable in my body, less clumsy for sure. But the biggest change was my attitude, I was still shy and quiet but I was more assertive.  
  
Harmony married a duke and moved out of the house but not out of our lives, as a dutiful daughter she visited or invited us over for dinner frequently. But I had moved out of her sway, I had gathered up enough bravery (or possibly temerity) to begin refusing to do her bidding. She made life miserable for me for a good part of six months but I proved more stubborn and she gave up.  
  
Ethan still bothered me periodically but I wasn't as scared of him as I had been, my monsters were fast disappearing and I was maturing. Father had given up any semblance of control over me or hopes of marriage so I was pretty much allowed to run rampant and make my own choices. And that's exactly what I did.  
  
It's funny, but courage seems to manifest itself in the strangest ways and giving up Alex made me stronger. With every tear that I shed I became more and more resolved not to let anyone control me like Harmony had ever again. Stupid, you might think, that now that I was no longer under Harmony's thumb I should just write him and explain but it wasn't that simple. I was to scared that he would already have moved on with his life and I had hurt him badly, I wasn't sure he would want to hear from me, even if the letter was just a friendly hello.  
  
All things considered I was happier person, more true to my own self, for sure. But it had come to late, I thought, I had destroyed any hope of a relationship with Alex beyond repair and that thought haunted me. Matthew and I talked about it sometimes and eventually he guessed my motivations. In his opinion I had royally messed up, but he passed no judgment on me, only my decision.  
  
He went to visit Alex in Kyria annually and wrote him a lot (encouraging me to do the same), but it was too painful. I couldn't even wear the ice skates Alex gave me so they, like my memories sat in the back of my closet and I just watched Matthew whirl on the ice alone.  
  
I had collected all the things that reminded me of Alex a few weeks after his departure and stuffed them into the back of my closet in a hat box. But sometimes on gorgeous spring mornings, when I missed him the most I would sneak in to my closet to open the box, brushing off the layers of dust, half relieved to find that the pain was as sharp as ever. It wasn't healthy, I knew, but I couldn't help myself.  
  
But I never thought I would ever see him again so I was shocked when Matthew invited me on his trip up to Kyria one year. I stared at him for a few moment. "What?" I asked finally.  
  
"Would you like to go with my to Kryia next week?" He repeated.  
  
I blinked. "I don't know." I said finally, my mind in turmoil. I certainly didn't want to spend the two weeks at my family's house but seeing Alex again might just snap me. "I guess so." I added. "Do you think I should?"  
  
"I think you should, maybe you can get some closure from seeing him again." Matthew suggested.  
  
I nodded. "Yes I guess I'd like to go." But closure was the last thing on my mind, I knew it was impossible, I was just too much in love with Alex for that kind of thing. But to see him, be near him, maybe even win back his friendship was just to inciting. I knew I was just going to get my heart broken again in the back of my head but I was lost already in fantasies.  
  
AN: I am such a bad person, this is so short but I promise the next chapter will be great. It would be so cool if I could get 200 reviews by the next chapter but that might be unrealistic. I've decided just to send a general answer to all my lovely reviewers: Thank you guys so much, you're the best! Yeah I know I'm a bad person for dragging this out and not posting for so long but I'm working on it!! Anyway till next time keep clicking that review button!!! 


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